Government Representation

Have you ever heard of a government that represents and considers the welfare of it's people?

The Public 1 HSBC 0

It's about time one of the Dragons finally had their teeth knocked out and the smile wiped off it's face. If you have been reading the MSM and considering whether you should take a shot yourself, join the millions who have already have. If you need to know where to start, try these links: MoneySavingExpert BBC How To This is Money Consumer Action Group Forums Times Online and you can get more by googling "claim back unfair charges". Do it... Now!

Speaking of the Germans...

Are these jokes racist? A Glossary of English/German Motoring Terms Indicators: Die Blinkenleiten Tickentocken Bonnet (Hood): Die Pullnob und knucklechopper Exhaust : Der Spitzenpoppenbangentuben Clutch: Die Kulink mit schlippen und schaken Puncture: Die Phlatt mit Bludyfucken Learner: Die twatte mit ellplatz Estate Car: Der Bagmerroom furschagginkinauto Near Accident: Der Fukken ner Schittenselfen Parking Meter: Der Tennerpinscher und Klockenqweer Windscreen Wiper: Der Flippenflappen muckenschpredder Footbrake: Der Edbangeronvindschreen Stoppenquick Gear lever: Bigenschticken fur Kangarooshtoppen Breathalyser: Die Puffitintem fur Pistenarsen Rear View Mirror: Der Yokhunter Tucklosen Seat Belt: Der Klunkinklikker Frauleintrapper Headlights: Das Dipperenderdazzlubastad Exhaust (old cars): Der Kaffenundschpitpolluter Highway Code: Der Wipenfurarsen Fog Warning: Die Puttenfootdownen und fukkit Traffic jam: Die Bluddifukkinnk Dammundblast Rear Seat: Der Schpringentester mit Fraulein Tires: Flahttfarts Backfire: Der Lowdenbangenmekkenjumpen Accident: Der Bledinmess Garage: Der heiway Robberung Cyclist: Der pedallpushinink Pillocken Skid: Der Banannan Waltzen Double White Lines: Overtaken und Krunchen Automobile: Honkenbrakenscreecher Gasoline: Honkenbrakenscreecherzoomerjuicen Driver: Honkenbrakenscreecherguidenschtunker Auto Mechanic: Honkenbrakenscreecherknockengepinger-sputtergefixer Repair Bill: Bankenrollergebustenuptottenliste Truck: Der Fukkengratentrucken Dog: Barkenpantensniffer Dog Catcher: Barkenpantensniffersnatcher Dog Catcher's Truck: Barkenpantensniffersnatcherwagen Garage for Truck: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagenhaus Truck Repairman: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagen-mechanikerwerker Mechanic's Union: Barkenpantensniffensnatcherwagen-mechanikerwerkerfeatherbedden- gefixengruppe Doctor: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker Nurse: Chestergethumpenpulsentookerhelper Hypodermic Needle: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker-helperhurtensticker Backside: Chestergethumpenpulsentooker-helperhurtenstickerstabbenplatz Piano: Plinkenplankenplunkenbox Pianist: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder Piano Stool: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder-spinnenseat Piano Recital: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder-offengeshowenspelle Fathers at the Recital: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder-offengeshowenspellensnoozengruppe Mothers at the Recital: Plinkenplankenplunkenboxgepounder-offengeshowenspellensnoozen-gruppenuppenwakers A German couple have a baby and name him Claus. As time goes by Claus grows up and yet never utters a word. After years of trying to find out what is wrong with him, his parents just accept that he's mute. On Claus's 14th birthday he is given a slice of his favourite cake. Suddenly, Claus turns to his Mother and says "Mother dis cake is dry". Overcome with emotion at his new verbal state his mother rushes to him and cries, "Claus, you can speak. Why have you never spoken before?" "Well", Claus replies, "up until now, everything has been satisfactory" And finally, one that Alex was sent during his time working in Switzerland, which he translates for your pleasure: Kreisverkehr Stell dir vor du fährst in England Bist schon verwirrt genug weil du links fahren mußt... Da siehst du dieses Schild: Are you travelling to a place in England? Already confused enough by travelling on the the left-hand side...? Then look at this picture: und fragst: was erwartet mich jetzt? and ask: what awaits me now? und nach ein paar Meter kommst du da an... and still a few meters further comes... Wie ein Zauberkarussell! A magic roundabout! Es soll 3 oder 4 davon in England geben. In Swindon, in London und Cardiff, nahe Southampton. In der Mitte ist die Drehrichtung entgegengesetzt der Normalen. There are 3 or 4 of these in England. In Swindon, London and Cardiff, near Southhampton. In the middle is the normal roundabout. Die spinnen, die Engländer The crazy/spinning English! (“spinnen“ in German means “spinning“ and is also used as a meaning for “crazy“)

Health and Safety Concern

Time to share with you one of the memorable moments of the New Year. Walking the streets of Munich at 23:45 on December 31st 2006 was a refreshing experience. Minimal police presence (by UK standards), crowds of people walking around clutching commercial size (UK illegal) fireworks in one hand, matches in the other. Alex must admit that they can be a little odd but the Deutschlanders sure know how to live it up 'Mr Invincible' style. Standing on the balcony of the incredibly sexy Mrs Fears apartment, 4 floors up overlooking the street, Alex tried to count how many H&S infringements were taking place at one time in the street below. Small firecrackers were being lobbed into the street as cars drove by, whilst the braver of the Barbarian Bavarians held the commercial fireworks in their hands as they set them off. Much beer was consumed which left plenty of spare bottles for the non-immortals to balance their rockets in. Occasionally the odd bottle would tip over and the rocket headed into the crowd of hammered Bavarians, funnily, it didn't seem to upset the dogs that were present. Rockets shot past the balcony, one even passing by Alex's feet, exploding just meters away from the balcony. Quite an awesome sight to be staring straight across at exploding fireworks, as opposed to ground level. As the night wore on Alex and the Incredible Sexy retired to watch CNN with a bottle of Erdinger each.

Sidekicks

No good hero would be complete without a sidekick (apart from Batman, Alex has always insisted he should work alone). So Alex is promoting the first 2 sidekicks in the fight against tyranny. To become a sidekick, all you have to do is mention Alex or AAF in a post or on your website, write lots of comments or do something interesting. Sidekick status may be applied retroactively, since we are now in a post-Post Zero era. However if you haven't been retconned into a sidekick and feel you should, then drop Alex a comment. Behold the sidekicks: The Mocker A supporter of Abandon All Fear since stumbling across the blog pre-Post Zero. Ed is driven by the quest to find the funny in tech and news. He has written favourably about AAF twice!. Therefore he has proven loyalty and commitment to good over evil, even if his methods are questionable). The Incredible Growing Man: Steve seeks to live a provocative life style. Fighting luke warmness wherever he finds it, he challenges people in what they believe, encouraging them to pursue Christ. Also a friend of AAF. Keep up the good work.

Post Zero

As you can see AAF has undergone some major retconning. Alex Fear has fully realised his destiny as a hero with new powers and abilities, such as insight and cunning wit. Alex doesn't apologise for the new comic feel of AAF, and before anyone makes assumptions it is not inspired by another excellent new US import. Alex's obsession with superheroes began a long time ago with the likes of Judge Dredd, Batman and Swamp Thing, to name a just a few. The good news, as you may have sussed, is that Alex now has broadband once again. Pipex came to his rescue when he fell into the trap laid by Salesman, working for the evil organisation TalkTalk. However, this still does not mean normal blogging will resume straight away. As you know Alex also now has a wife, whose powers far exceed his own.

If Post was Like Email

Everyday when you opened your mailbox there would be 30 pieces of junkmail waiting for you If you wrote a letter that was too big the postman would either refuse to deliver it or deliver it very slowly Every now and then you may write a long letter and suddenly lose it and have to start writing it all over again You would be able to write just one letter and the postman would send it to 60 of your friends and only charge you for the one letter Conversations with your friends would go on weeks Every now and then you would receive a letter that has been read and passed on by at least 100 people. The letter is warning you of another malicious letter that if opened would break all your windows, set fire to your furniture and/or remove all the cement from your building. The letter also advises that you make photocopies and send it to everyone you have an address for The postman makes photocopies of all your letters After the postman has read your all your letters, your friends mail-box is full and he brings back your letter saying that he couldn’t deliver it You only have to write someone’s address once, the postman will remember all your friends and contacts addresses No matter where you are in the world, the postman will still deliver on time to your door Source Unknown

Origins

A new hero rises to take on the culture of fear... the transformation is already underway. Oh and btw I have abandoned TalkTalk. I signed up with Pipex today on the recommendation of this blog. They claim to do it in about 10 days on their website. No doubt CrapCrap will screw my credit rating further when I cancel my direct debit, but it's a small price to pay. I advise anyone living in the slowest and stupidest city in the world not to go with TalkTalk for their broadband solution. They are all TalkTalk and no ActionAction.