The Dangers of Literal Interpretation of the Bible

While they were eating, Jesus took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to his disciples, saying, "Take and eat; this is my body." Then he took the cup, gave thanks and offered it to them, saying, "Braaaaaaiiiiiinss..." Matthew 70AD ...Sorry.

Omazing Grace

Words fail me I actually found the lyrics so you can sing along: O-maaaa-zing Graaaa, How sweee da sound Hnnuuuaaa yuuunnuuu yuiike meeeeeee Aaauuu-iiiing graaauuuu yuuooo naaaay, yuuoooaar O-thaaaa yeuuuuiiiii niiii eeeeee HT: What a Weenie! Technorati Tags: amazing grace, video, worship, church, christian, humour

10 Reasons Not To Wash

This is an old one that's been banging around the internet, nevertheless it's still a good one. In one church, the pastor, apparently fed up with all the excuses given over the years as to why people don't go to church, included "Ten Reasons Why I Never Wash" in the Sunday bulletin: I was forced to as a child. People who wash are hypocrites -- they think they are cleaner than everybody else. There are so many different kinds of soap, I can't decide which one is best. I used to wash, but I got bored and stopped. I wash only on special occasions, like Christmas and Easter. None of my friends wash. I'll start washing when I get older and dirtier. I can't spare the time. The bathroom is never warm enough in winter or cool enough in summer. People who make soap are only after your money.

Prints in the Sand

Such a beautiful poem, I thought I should share: One night I had a wondrous dream, One set of footprints there was seen, The footprints of my precious Lord, But mine were not along the shore. But then some stranger prints appeared, And I asked the Lord," What have we here?" Those prints are large and round and neat. "But Lord, they are too big for feet." "My child," He said in somber tones, "For miles I carried you alone. I challenged you to walk in faith, But you refused and made me wait.” "You disobeyed, you would not grow, The walk of faith, you would not know, So I got tired, I got fed up. And there I dropped you on your butt." "Because in life, there comes a time, When one must fight, and one must climb, When one must rise and take a stand, Or leave their butt prints in the sand." - Author Unknown

An Innocent Relationship?

Source: B3ta Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire ET Extra Terrestrial Pedophile Alien Innocence Relationship Add to del.icio.us

Repost: Raccoons on a Plane!

Samuel L Jackson is not reported to be starring in this follow up. As reported by Another Think. Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire Snakes on a Plane Samuel L Jackson Racoons Another Think Add to del.icio.us

Repost: AOL Customer 16006693

A few weeks ago AOL came up with a great idea to "reach out to the academic community" by posting details of all their users search terms, complete with user IDs. It wasn't long before bloggers seized upon it like mosquito's on a pasty white tourist, and the database found its way into the public domain. It is reported that some of the user searches could reveal an AOL customers identity, just by piecing together the data used in their searches: 16006693 nak 16006693 nack 16006693 sharona 16006693 knack 16006693 knack downloads 16006693 oakrige boys 16006693 oakridge boys 16006693 oakridge boys downloads free 16006693 jokes about dick cheney 16006693 jokes about dick cheney but not george bush 16006693 dick cheney creep 16006693 dick cheney dickhead 16006693 rummy dickhead 16006693 where is iraq 16006693 where is lebenon 16006693 his bullets 16006693 his bullies 16006693 shiits 16006693 shee-ites 16006693 bush appruval 16006693 bush approvel 16006693 bush drops below 16006693 dead reporters 16006693 dead reporters fotos 16006693 dead reporters pix 16006693 disembowled reporters pix 16006693 disembowled new york times 16006693 love thine enemas 16006693 love thine enemies 16006693 bible quote of the day 16006693 insperation from bible 16006693 george bush great president 16006693 george w bush great president 16006693 dream on 16006693 oakridge boys lyrics dream on 16006693 how to run country 16006693 how to run country when not really inerested 16006693 people to run country for you 16006693 over work 16006693 overwork 16006693 stress 16006693 best place to retire 16006693 places like crawford but without cindy sheehan 16006693 crawford the town not cindy crawford 16006693 crawford tx 16006693 like crawford tx but not so hot 16006693 best places to retire not hot 16006693 best places to retire global warming 16006693 global warming mith 16006693 global warming myth 16006693 crawford hot 16006693 cindy crawford hot 16006693 rice hot 16006693 rice hot not recipes 16006693 rice naked 16006693 rice nude 16006693 bible quotes resisting temptation 16006693 oakridge boys i'll be true to you 16006693 oakridge boys trying to love two women 16006693 rice and beans 16006693 tex mex 16006693 tex mex not music 16006693 tex mex takeout 16006693 tex mex takeout dc 16006693 heart burn 16006693 heartburn Courtesy of Slate.com If you still can't work out his identity... just go to Democratic Underground. If you want to search the data yourself, the AOL Search Database offers you the option of searching by Keyword, Site or User ID, but is not the complete database. DontDelete offer a similar search with a random user generator promising "hours of entertainment". DataBlunder is by far the best on offer, as it includes views of popular user profiles and search reviews. Digg commenters discuss the database, ethical issues and offer some interesting, weird and frightening user IDs. Here are some interesting one's I've found or taken from the various sources above: Insight into the criminal mind Not happy with 'him' Heavenly intervention or cannibal plans to eat evangelist? Too late Tired of waiting for AOL to help me... I need a beer IDs: 2281868 - Demons? 2708 - Revenge is ugly Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire AOL Search AOL Customer AOL Database Add to del.icio.us

Excellent Opportunities to Waste Public Money

For those who don't know, there is a section in The Guardian which advertises all the government non-jobs going. Saturdays Guardian had 2 in particular which drew my attention which makes you think there's some sort of competition or bonus for the most creative title: Department For Work and Pensions Head of Staff Engagement and Leadership Visibility £44,260 - £56,810 The British Museum Director of Public Understanding £65,000 If you want to see more, The Telegraph runs an excellent 'Non-Job of the Week' column written by Jim Levi. Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire

Sunday Mails Mega Christmas Album!

Today I bought a copy of the Sunday Mail (I wanted some easy reading and wasn't up to the intelligent editorials in the Times or Independent). Enclosed in the magazine wrappers was a part one of a double CD: "The Mega Christmas Album". I'm not that enthusiastic about the descendant of a pagan festival that is Christmas when the season is upon us, let alone middle of November. However I do enjoy listening to Christmas carols and their modern contemporaries. So you can imagine my surprise and joy to find such festive hits as "Do Do Ron Ron" by The Crystals and "Build Me Up Buttercup" by the Foundations. Nothing better to get you in the Christmas spirit than a bit of Fontella Bass (Rescue Me). You can tell I'm already in the Christmas mood. Here is a run-down of the festive tunes as offered by the Sunday Mail: 1. YMCA - Village People - the carol singers favourite 2. Build Me Up Buttercup - Foundations 3. When Will I See You Again - The Three Degrees 4. We Are Family - Sister Sledge - great for that gathering to sing around the fire 5. Let's Dance - Chris Montez 6. My Guy - Mary Wells 7. Do Do Ron Ron - The Crystals 8. Let's Twist Again - Chubby Checker 9. Dancing In The Street - Martha Reeves - a Christmas classic 10. Rescue Me - Fontella Bass 11. I Will Survive - Gloria Gaynor 12. She's A Lady - Tom Jones - nothing can stop Grandma from singing this one I can tell you're feeling Christmassy already! Tags: Dark Side of the Light Christian Satire